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Pragraph - منتديات شباب فلسطين
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العودة   منتديات شباب فلسطين > محطات أدبية > طَريـــقُ النَــجــآح ْ

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قديم 07-30-2008, 04:01 PM   #1
Anonymous Gril
I ♥ PALESTINE
 
الصورة الرمزية Anonymous Gril
فلسطين لكـِ شوقٌ فِ قلبِيْ ،
غيـآبي لن يطول ،، ابنتـكـ يا توجيـعــي :

قوة السمعة: 92 Anonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the rough

Post Pragraph

I wil write a paragraph in English and I want from you tell me if there any spelling mistakes or
Grammer mistakes .OK



My favorite announcer is Rajy Al Hemes. He is 22 years old.He lives with his parents, he hasn`t any brothers or sisters.He lives in Al Shada`a mosqe (masged)in Gaza.He workes in Al aqsa T.V.He is kind,patient,quiet and clever.He tells the truth and he is generous in every thing.He is a well educated and a highly cultivated person. Although he lives in a bad condition, has a lot of problems, and suffers much from the Israeli occupation, He always tells jokes and likes to see other people smile.Rajy has a great looking,special his hair and he has beautiful dark browneyes


I wil write a paragraph in English and I wantI wil write a paragraph in English and I wantI wil write a paragraph in English and I want



I am waiting you








التعديل الأخير تم بواسطة Anonymous Gril ; 07-30-2008 الساعة 09:00 PM. سبب آخر: correction
  اقتباس المشاركة
قديم 07-30-2008, 05:57 PM   #2
نونو الحلوة
I ♥ PALESTINE
 
الصورة الرمزية نونو الحلوة

قوة السمعة: 39 نونو الحلوة will become famous soon enough

افتراضي رد: Pragraph

its very good paragraph


but u have a mistakes n last line


u should say


Rajy has a great looking,special his hair and he has beautiful

dark brown eyes


[CENTER]




تسلمولي يارب


εïз حسبيَ الله { لآ إله إلآ هـو .. عليه توكلـت ~ وهـو ربّ الـ ع ـرش العظيـم
  اقتباس المشاركة
قديم 07-30-2008, 06:29 PM   #3
Anonymous Gril
I ♥ PALESTINE
 
الصورة الرمزية Anonymous Gril
فلسطين لكـِ شوقٌ فِ قلبِيْ ،
غيـآبي لن يطول ،، ابنتـكـ يا توجيـعــي :

قوة السمعة: 92 Anonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the rough

افتراضي رد: Pragraph

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة نونو الحلوةمشاهدة المشاركة

its very good paragraph


but u have a mistakes n last line


u should say


Rajy has a great looking,special his hair and he has beautiful

dark brown eyes




Thanks for the note

O..NONO AL Helwa







  اقتباس المشاركة
قديم 07-30-2008, 08:17 PM   #4
B a s i m a
..{ مشـــــرفــة }..
 
الصورة الرمزية B a s i m a

قوة السمعة: 46 B a s i m a will become famous soon enough

افتراضي رد: Pragraph

Dear Asheqa,

Below, I corrected the spelling and grammatical mistakes in your paragraph. However, you may re-write it without repeating "he" so often. This way your paragraph becomes more coherent.

I don't understand what you mean by:
"He lives in Al Shada'a mosque", does he live in a mosque?
"white theet"
??
....

My favorite announcer is Rajy Al Hemes. He is 22 years old. He lives with his parents. He hasn`t got any brothers or sisters. He lives in Al Shada`a mosque (masged) in Gaza. He works in Al aqsa T.V channel. He is kind, patient, quiet and clever. He tells the truth and he is generous in every thing. He is a well educated and a highly cultivated person. Although he lives in a bad condition, has a lot of problems, and suffers much from the Israeli occupation, he always tells jokes and likes to see other people smile. Rajy has a great hair, white theet and very very beautiful dark brown eyes




  اقتباس المشاركة
قديم 07-30-2008, 08:48 PM   #5
Anonymous Gril
I ♥ PALESTINE
 
الصورة الرمزية Anonymous Gril
فلسطين لكـِ شوقٌ فِ قلبِيْ ،
غيـآبي لن يطول ،، ابنتـكـ يا توجيـعــي :

قوة السمعة: 92 Anonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the roughAnonymous Gril is a jewel in the rough

افتراضي رد: Pragraph

Dear Asheqa,
Below, I corrected the spelling and grammatical mistakes in your paragraph. However, you may re-write it without repeating "he" so often. This way your paragraph becomes more coherent.
I don't understand what you mean by:

"He lives in Al Shada'a mosque", does he live in a mosque?
"white theet"
??


My favorite announcer is Rajy Al Hemes. He is 22 years old. He lives with his parents. He hasn`t got any brothers or sisters. He lives in Al Shada`a mosque (masged) in Gaza. He works in Al aqsa T.V channel. He is kind, patient, quiet and clever. He tells the truth and he is generous in every thing. He is a well educated and a highly cultivated person. Although he lives in a bad condition, has a lot of problems, and suffers much from the Israeli occupation, he always tells jokes and likes to see other people smile. Rajy has a great hair, white theet and very very beautiful dark brown eyes



"He lives in Al Shada'a mosque", does he live in a mosque?


NO...The name of his region is Masged Al Shada`a


Look my sister I will choose some of your words







  اقتباس المشاركة
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